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The Mane Land MLS Power Rankings: Week 14

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I'm just gonna put this here:

The Ineptitude Standings (Number of times a team is involved in a 0-0)

1. Colorado and RSL (4)

2. SKC, Portland and Dallas (3)

3. New England and Seattle (2)

4. Houston, Columbus, LA, Montreal, NYCFC, NYRB, Philly, Vancouver and San Jose (1)

16 of the 20 MLS teams have now participated in a 0-0.

Chicago, D.C., Toronto and your Orlando City Lions are the only holdouts left. God praise them.

Also, there were zero goals scored on Soccer Sunday's National Broadcasts. That's a really good look for the league. I mean, how could you not want to watch RSL-Colorado on the same weekend that Seattle-SKC went down? Given the choice between a filet and ground chuck, the schedule makers and TV producers picked the chuck.

1. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 3)

A win over Seattle means a lot. Granted, a win over Seattle without either Clint Dempsey and Obafemi Martins means a lot less, but still. SKC jumps to the top of the heap after dethroning the incumbent, poop claiming number one.

2. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 1)

3. D.C. United (Last Week: 2)

Don't call me a hater, but I just don't see this D.C. squad winning MLS Cup. I really don't.

4. FC Dallas (Last Week: 5)

5. New England Revolution (Last Week: 4)

6. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 8)

7. Toronto FC (Last Week: 10)

The race for this season’s MVP is over. Sebastian Giovinco is hands down the front-runner for the award Robbie Keane won last year, and it isn’t close. I don’t remember another player to come in and be as electrifying right off the bat like the Atomic Ant has been.

"How good is this guy?"

Very good. Very, very good.

8. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 14)

The Trees have righted the ship since I called for Caleb Porter's job back in week nine. I'll take credit for giving them the motivation. You're welcome P-Town.

9. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 7)

10. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 12)

11. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 9)

12. Columbus Crew (Last Week: 6)

If you haven't noticed by how high I've been placing them, I really like Columbus. I think the potential is there, and if you asked me, I'd take their roster over D.C.'s straight up.The only problem? They haven't won for a month.

13. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 11)

14. Orlando City (Last Week: 16)

Shhhhhh……. Orlando is undefeated in four. We have to whisper about it. We don't want to scare the streak away.

15. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 13)

16. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 19)

If there's any Montreal stock available, I want to buy it. They've won four out of five, and their CCL run and road draw in the Azteca appears to have energized them and provided some confidence. Buy now, because you may want to when Ignacio Piatti is dragging this team into playoff contention come the fall.

17. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 16)

18. New York City FC (Last Week: 20)

19. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 17)

20. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 18)

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