Orlando City Players as a Thanksgiving Dinner

Happy Thanksgiving, Mane Landers! If you haven’t already eaten too much on this very American holiday, I invite you to consider the following. What part of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner do Orlando City players represent? To be fair, this is based on what I think is traditional, but if you have other suggestions, I’m open to hearing them.

Occasionally, we get some stick in the mud who feels this type of article isn’t “serious journalism fit for The Mane Land,” to which I say “you’re partly correct.” It isn’t serious journalism, but if you knew me, or most of the staff, we’re fun people. As such, I think such pieces — done in moderation — enhance our publication rather than detract from it. If you disagree, I recommend you go check out any number of “more serious” pieces we provide each week. With that out of the way, let’s get to the fixin’s!

The Turkey — Ercan Kara

Personally, I love turkey this time of the year, even though I’m the one cooking it. However, not everyone is a fan, even though it is empirically good. In that way, it’s a bit like Ercan Kara because despite his numbers, not everyone likes him or thinks he should be there. Those people are wrong, both on Kara and on a juicy, delicious turkey.

Ham — Benji Michel

The people who don’t like turkey often say we should give ham a bigger role on this holiday. I like ham, but I don’t think it is as good as turkey. Much in the way that I like Michel, but he’s no Kara. He is a bit salty, and a bit sweet like a good ham, and he’s more than welcome at my home(grown). 

Mashed Potatoes — Mauricio Pereyra

There is a dish that is a staple on any plate. It brings everything together, can mix with any other part of the meal and while not always flashy is absolutely necessary. I’m talking about mashed potatoes. That description also applies to our captain, Mauricio Pereyra. He’s the glue that holds the middle together. He’s good with all his teammates and often makes them better. 

The Stuffing — Cesar Araujo

Ask almost anyone, and they will tell you that Thanksgiving is not as good without the stuffing. Orlando City is the same way with Araujo. The Lions are much better with him than without. Additionally, stuffing can be pretty sticky — in a good way — much like Araujo will stick to the opponents on defense. He is an essential dish in the meal that is Orlando City.

The Gravy — Kyle Smith

For many, gravy is not necessary, but it is nice to have. It can be used on potatoes, turkey, or with bread. It’s a versatile complement to the rest of the meal, just as Smith is a versatile player for Oscar Pareja. El Soldado can be plugged in at so many different positions, and while he’s not the best part of the meal, it’s good that he is there and available. 

Biscuits/Rolls with Butter — Antonio Carlos and Robin Jansson

What’s the saying? “They go together like bread and butter.” Whatever type of bread/biscuit/roll you prefer with your dinner needs some butter to complete it. When the two combine, it is a perfect complement to the meal. That is exactly what it is like when Carlos and Jansson are paired at center back. It’s a very satisfying pairing that makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Pie — Facundo Torres

There are so many different types of pies that people enjoy this time of the year, including  pumpkin, pecan, apple, even key lime since we’re in Florida. It doesn’t matter what pie you prefer, it is the final piece of a perfect meal. Torres was the piece Orlando City was missing, and once he hit his stride, it was so sweet. Unfortunately, he will almost certainly be gone too soon, much like those yummy desserts. 

I hope you enjoyed our little bit of culinary fun. If you’d like to contribute your own suggestions, please do so in the comments below. Happy Thanksgiving!