The Mane Land MLS Power Rankings: Week 19

The four bottom teams in last week’s rankings (Houston, Philadelphia, Montreal and Chicago) all won. Find me the guy that predicted that, and I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse to fill out my NCAA Tournament bracket next year.

1. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 1)

SKC just keeps on keepin' on. The Wizards of the Midwest have only lost three all year, which is best in the league, and they also sport the best goal differential in the league.

2. D.C. United (Last Week: 2)

3. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 4)

Me on Saturday night: "Hey, Gerrard made his LA debut tonight."

Friend: "Who cares? He's 50."

4. FC Dallas (Last Week: 5)

5. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 3)

6. Toronto FC (Last Week: 9)

If you've been reading this column even semi-regularly, you'll know already how I feel about Toronto's Italian star. I've gone on ad nauseam about the Atomic Ant before, and so the following statement, no matter how outlandish it may seem on the surface, shouldn't be very surprising: Sebastian Giovinco is the best player to ever play in MLS.

He may not be the greatest player, or have the prettiest resume, or even have the most talent. He is simply the best. The combination of his talents, which are supreme, the fact that he is still, at the age of 28, securely in his prime and that he appears as motivated as any player in the league makes him the most dominant force I’ve seen. He is a one-man wrecking ball full of energy, drive and skill. If it weren’t for him, Toronto would be up a creek without a paddle, as they normally are. However, the tiny Italian is dazzling us all with every opportunity and Toronto looks like making the playoffs even without Jozy Altidore and Michael Bradley for a significant chunk of the season.

Giovinco could have easily scored six goals this week.

7. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 6)

Food for Thought: Vancouver has started 22 different lineups in its 22 games across all competitions this season.

8. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 7)

9. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 8)

10. Orlando City (Last Week: 10)

11. New York City FC (Last Week: 13)

NYCFC and Colorado are tied on points at 21 after both playing 19 games. The difference? New York has David Villa, who is third in the league in goals scored, and Colorado doesn’t. Also, NYCFC has only lost one in its last seven games.

Sal, the Fictional Sports Fan from the Bronx, on NYCFC's wild 4-4 draw on Sunday: "Have you heard about dis noo Mahvul movie? Apparently Paul Rudd wuz at da Stadium on Sunday."

Sal doesn't quite understand Sebastian Giovinco's nickname yet, but I bet he would appreciate the Italian's greatness if he ever saw him play.

12. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 14)

13. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 16)

14. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 11)

15. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 18)

Don't look now, but Philly is two points out of the last playoff spot.

16. Columbus Crew SC (Last Week: 12)

17. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 17)

The worst part about Pablo Mastroeni shaving his ‘stache? He won’t have it when he coaches the All-Star Game.

18. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 19)

19. New England Revolution (Last Week: 15)

The Revs should have just stayed in New England this week. New England was down 3-0 after 12 minutes. If I were Jay Heaps I would have just gotten on the bus at halftime and left.

That's five straight Ls for the Fightin' Flags.

20. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 20)

Sorry, Chicago. Despite the win, Chicago is still on the bottom of the pile.

Polling Closed