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The Mane Land 2016 MLS Power Rankings: Week 10
If you're watching an MLS game, there are two things that are fairly likely to happen: 1) the referee makes or doesn't make a call that is questionable at best and egregious at worst, and 2) someone in the commentary booth will refer to something as "world class." Perhaps the second falls under the pet peeve category, but I've reached a relative boiling point on the subject.
If you say something too many times it loses its meaning. Remember in season five of Mad Men when Roger trips LSD with his former secretary and (soon-to-be-ex wife) Jane? He tells her she's beautiful, and she responds with "That's all you ever say." In this scenario, MLS is Jane, everyone who talks and writes about MLS is Roger, and the phrase "world class" is "beautiful."
Why does every good play have to be "world class?" Can't it just be a good play? Are there no other adjectives that MLS color commentators have in their lexicons to describe a play that took great skill, strong effort, and that had a major impact on the game? Do those people also refer to other things in their lives as "world class?"
"Gee honey, this roast is world class!"
"Say friend, this ice cream cone is world class!"
"My, my, what a world-class film about birds!"
What does "world class" mean, anyway? Last I checked, the world was a pretty big place, with lots of classes. Calling something "world class" doesn't imply high quality, just that it is of some quality, regardless of whether it is good or bad. Calling a soccer play "world class" is just MLS exhibiting its inferiority complex over and over every week. Stop it, MLS. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken, and referring to yourself as "world class" doesn't make you as good as the Premier League. You're 20 years old now. Stop with the adolescent insecurities and just be you.
1. LA Galaxy (Last Week: 1)
LA is five points back of first with two games in hand, it has scored the most goals in the league despite that deficit in games played, and its goal differential is double that of the next-best team (12 to Colorado's six). A draw this week is good enough to keep the Galaxy in first place.
2. Colorado Rapids (Last Week: 2)
Ditto for Colorado. The Rapids are in first place in MLS, which continues their sudden rise from irrelevancy to contenders. Also, this team will be adding Tim Howard over the summer, so don't expect them to go away.
3. FC Dallas (Last Week: 4)
Two wins in a week for Dallas, on the heels of three straight road losses, brings the Texans up to third. Dallas has New England, San Jose, and Houston for its next three — all of which should be very winnable games.
4. Vancouver Whitecaps (Last Week: 9)
The 'Caps took three wins from three games in the span of a week to vault into third in the Supporters' Shield standings as well as the Western Conference standings. I'm not certain Vancouver can be title contenders come playoff time, but the Whitecaps are certainly warming up.
5. San Jose Earthquakes (Last Week: 5)
Putting the Quakes this high feels very wrong, but San Jose has produced so far this season to the tune of fifth place in the league. To me, this team feels a lot like D.C. from last year — they might be able to produce good regular season results, but there's no way they win the MLS Cup.
6. Toronto FC (Last Week: 3)
Way to put that home-field advantage to use, Toronto. After surviving that long road trip to start their season, the Reds dropped a thriller at home to Canadian counterpart Vancouver this week. Suddenly, tomorrow night's game against NYC figures to have a significant impact on the early season Eastern Conference playoff picture.
In other news, Sebastian Giovinco continues to be world-class superb. (See what I did there? I used a word that expressed how I felt about a player that didn’t make him relative to other soccer players in the world who may or may not be better than him. Isn’t that something?)
7. Real Salt Lake (Last Week: 5)
After being the early pace-setter out west, RSL now finds itself in the heat of the race with 17 points, which ties Salt Lake with SKC on either side of the red line. It's been, and will be, an ultra-competitive Western Conference this year, and RSL might not have enough gas to last the whole season.
8. Philadelphia Union (Last Week: 8)
Philly drew Montreal and LA this week, so they get the nod over the Impact in this week's rankings.
9. Montreal Impact (Last Week: 7)
Drogba scored this week, which makes him tied for second on the team in goals. I wonder how many more he would have scored if he had gone through preseason and played in the first portion of the season with the rest of his teammates like a big boy?
10. Sporting Kansas City (Last Week: 10)
SKC was lucky it played Orlando this week, because Orlando is making a nasty habit of allowing teams who are on terrible runs of form to win.
11. New York City FC (Last Week: 15)
Three wins in a row for the New York Soccer Yankees puts them in a tie with Montreal for first place in the East. Wanna see a real life rags-to-riches story (this side of Leicester City)? Just watch the Eastern Conference, where every team can go from first to last and back again.
12. Seattle Sounders (Last Week: 11)
Jordan Morris didn’t score this week for Seattle, ending his record-setting rookie run. This is important, because J-Mo has officially taken the mantel of “USMNT Striker of the Future” from Jozy Altidore, whose hamstrings apparently have less fortitude than a cube of Jell-O.
13. Portland Timbers (Last Week: 12)
Portland was better than NYC this weekend and deserved better from the game. They won every statistical category on the stat sheet and Darlington Nagbe had a good game. However, Tommy McNamara and his 2016 edition mullet was the difference.
14. D.C. United (Last Week: 16)
D.C. beat the Red Bulls this week in a game pitting two teams with no hope of winning the championship against each other.
15. New England Revolution (Last Week: 17)
Major kudos to New England for capitalizing on C-Bus’ drama to acquire Kei Kamara. The Revs needed some kind of boost, and the front office should be proud that it was able to go out and grab a player who has the potential to be that boost.
16. Orlando City (Last Week: 13)
Orlando is now the owner of a six-game streak without a win, which is currently the longest running such streak in the league. I expect this team to still make the playoffs in the East, but if it doesn't, Adrian Heath should get fired (his suspension for this week's game at SKC notwithstanding).
17. New York Red Bulls (Last Week: 14)
After going unbeaten in three, the Red Bulls lost to D.C. this week. This is kind of like if you were working really hard to climb up a hill, only to have a really old lady hit you on the head to send you tumbling back down again.
18. Houston Dynamo (Last Week: 18)
Houston beat RSL to give itself two wins in its last three. The saddest part about MLS this year is that Houston is in last place in the West, but would be one point out of the playoffs in the East (and tied with Orlando).
19. Columbus Crew SC (Last Week: 18)
For whatever reason, Columbus decided to slam its championship window shut by trading Kei Kamara away. I'm not in the Crew locker room to be able to tell you how it went down so quickly, but I've got to think that either this had been brewing way longer than we realize or everyone in that locker room is far too sensitive.
20. Chicago Fire (Last Week: 20)
Chicago is so bad, I bet the NBC show of the same name gets better ratings than Fire games in the Windy City.
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A Note About Hurricane Milton and The Mane Land
First of all, be safe. Second of all, be safe. Third of all, here’s what’s up regarding our upcoming schedule.
Hello, Mane Landers! With another powerful storm bearing down on the Sunshine State, it’s good to know that Orlando City and OCB are off and the Pride are on the road this weekend. We hope that everyone remains safe as Hurricane Milton passes through and near the areas in which many of you (and us) live.
As always, I hate writing these pieces but it seems to be required at least once per year, so I wanted to let everyone know that we at The Mane Land are going to do our best to continue our normal coverage and publication schedule as best we can — understanding that we are not a priority for anyone in the area at the moment. Our schedule in the coming days is not really up to us, as there are always unknown aspects to every storm, and while Hurricane Milton may or may not disrupt some or all of us personally, there are cell, internet, and electricity services that could be affected — something far beyond our control — to the point where our normal service isn’t possible. So we ask that you be aware of that and to be patient if that happens.
Hopefully our cable/satellite/electricity/internet will stay on for all the normal reasons, as well as so we can continue our coverage of Orlando’s soccer teams.
As Hurricane Milton threatens our state, we want to wish all of you the best of luck. Mother Nature is not a force to be trifled with, so we hope that everyone takes the mindset to err on the side of caution rather than take unnecessary risks. The weather is undefeated and should never be challenged.
The weather is undefeated and should never be challenged.
For those who read us throughout the Central Florida area and beyond, please let this serve as a reminder that several of our writers will be within reach of the storm, and all or some of us could find ourselves without power, internet, and/or cell service soon. Some of our staff members live in the more vulnerable areas along the Gulf Coast and Space Coast, where flooding could be severe.
When The Weather Channel sends people to your area to broadcast about the storm, you definitely take notice.
The safety of the TML staff is obviously of paramount importance to me. I urge all of our staff to take appropriate precautions, including – should they deem it necessary – evacuation. I urge everyone to be wherever they’re going to be by 5 p.m. tonight and then to stay put. As a website, we will strive to continue to function as normally as possible over the coming days.
I will personally do everything in my power (provided I have power and either the internet or cell service, or both) to maintain the site’s schedule of features with whatever breaking news we can cover over the span of the storm’s passing and beyond. However, please be aware that the site could potentially go without updates for an indeterminate period if the storm is particularly destructive and leaves us without power/internet, or with more immediate problems that must be overcome before we can even think about sitting down to write a blog post or record a podcast. This may be unavoidable, but we will do everything we can to avoid it.
I will try to provide updates from The Mane Land Twitter account (@TheManeLand) periodically to let people know that we’re OK as I get reports from our staff, and what the status of stories will be over the days (and weeks, if need be) to come. We hope the storm isn’t too disruptive to our daily functions but…this is a blog and it is infinitely less important than real life. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we’ll do what we have to do and get back to normal as quickly as we can.
Hopefully I’ll be able to look back on this post in a few days and laugh about having written it.
But this is a two-way community, so enough about us. Where are you located in relation to the storm’s path? What are you doing to prepare for the hurricane? Are you getting out of harm’s way, or are you staying put? How are you planning to pass the time? What are your best hurricane hacks? Let us know what you’re up to in the comments section below and keep us updated on how the weather is affecting your area.
Stay safe, Lion Nation.
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Reflecting on Eight Years with The Mane Land
A look back over my time with The Mane Land (so far).
As of last week, I have been a contributor at The Mane Land for eight years. That’s longer than I’ve ever been at any of my actual jobs in my life. There are literally only a couple of people who have been with the site longer, but I’m still amazed at how long it’s been. This is not to say I’m going anywhere, but rather I wanted to take the opportunity to look back at the past eight years, and look ahead to the future.
Unlike some, I didn’t come to be a supporter of Orlando City until it was announced that the club was joining MLS. At the time, I was contemplating picking a club to follow in MLS, but being in Tallahassee, there were no nearby options at that time. I considered FC Dallas and D.C. United, given the two were geographically closer in proximity to me than any others. Fortunately, it was literally while I was considering my options that the announcement was made regarding Orlando City’s jump to MLS. It was an easy decision.
As I do in many aspects of my life, I immediately started researching my new club, which led me to the content being produced by The Mane Land. There was also an article on the site titled “Join The Mane Land Staff.” I had often over the years internally bemoaned that I rarely used my Bachelor’s degree in English, and the desire to write welled up in me so much that I emailed the staff.
In response, one of our former editors, Andrew Marcinko, contacted me and said “I think your voice would be a great fit on TML.” He asked me to submit a Fan Post (those went away with our presence on SBN), and then another piece for review. Following that, our founder and managing editor, Michael Citro, emailed me to welcome me to the staff. I had no idea at the time how big a part of my life this blog would become.
I started out writing Monday’s Lions Links — often one of the more difficult days to write — and a feature piece. It’s been many years gone by now, but there was a time when the feature piece was “Pride Pub,” an ongoing series that paired craft beer and good food based on Orlando City’s opponent. I can tell you that the research for that was very enjoyable, and I still use some of the recipes I found to this day.
Eventually, I started contributing more match coverage and analytical pieces. Staff came and went, but I never thought to leave since I was enjoying myself. Sometime after that, I was promoted to senior columnist, for which I’m grateful. I can without reservation say that I’m a better writer thanks to my time with the site, and from working with such excellent staff.
In November of 2016, Michael asked if I wanted to give co-hosting The Mane Land PawedCast a try. My first recording was for Episode 71. We just recorded Episode 354, and with the exception of maybe two or three episodes, I have been on every single one of 283 episodes over the last six plus years. Michael and I have spent a lot of time talking on and off the podcast over the years, and I’m proud of what we have produced and to call him my friend.
We recently added an Orlando Pride-specific podcast called Skopurp: An Orlando Pride PawedCast. For years we wanted to give the Pride the time and attention the club deserves. Now, it is a reality, but one that I ask you to listen to and share. I’ll even put out that although Michael and I are the current hosts, we merely consider ourselves stewards and are hoping to get others to come onboard and eventually take it to the next level.
When I started with The Mane Land, the site had just made the move from a free WordPress site to the SBNation network. It was a big deal, and for many years it was a good partnership. Of course that all came to an end not too long ago, and our blog went the independent route thanks to the incredibly generous support of our readers and listeners. In fact, if you want to be one of those supporting our efforts, please go to our Buy Me A Coffee site to become a member. The move has allowed a flexibility we didn’t have before, but I really want others to have the same sense of joy and accomplishment that I have as a member of our staff.
At one point we had nearly twice the staff that we do now, and as you know, many hands make light work. The opposite of that is also true. I genuinely believe that there must be others out there with the same passion for Orlando City as I have — with the same desire to have their voice heard, whether through the written word or on a podcast. I promise you there is an opportunity to contribute here with us. Our internal discussions are informative, engaging, and often funny. Please consider joining us, as I did eight years ago. I haven’t regretted it and I know you won’t either.
I want to thank all of those who contributed to The Mane Land over the years. There are many that I am still in touch with, though they are no longer a part of the staff. Of course, the current staff are a pleasure to work with, and I appreciate their dedication to what we are trying to do.
Finally, I want to thank the readers and listeners over the years. From those who regularly comment on our articles, to those that I’ve personally met at matches or even randomly on the street, you are a big reason that we do all of this. You are a big reason why I’ve been doing this for the better part of a decade. it is always a genuine pleasure hearing your thoughts or simply sharing a moment of joy together — U.S. Open Cup final, anyone?
So, thank you. I look forward to many more years of this journey together.
Orlando City
The Mane Land Announces Membership Program
Maximize your Mane Land experience with our new TML membership program while supporting our independent efforts.
Hello, readers of The Mane Land and listeners of our podcasts. Before you start reading this, please note that the most important part of this post is at the end. So, don’t stop until you get to the bottom.
You may recall that when we left SBNation to become independent, we really weren’t sure the best way to go about that. Many of our readers and listeners generously offered to help us make that transition, but we still weren’t sure the best path forward, so we took a poll.
The poll was pretty much split down the middle between those who preferred a one-time, Kickstarter-style campaign (which we did, and those of you who stepped up to help completely blew us away!) and those who favored a Patreon-style, subscription-based membership with extra perks. In fact, the member subscriptions option got a few more votes in our poll.
The folks who took part in our GoFundMe fundraiser were fantastic and are now immortalized on this very site on the “Our Founders” page. But we had always planned to give folks the option to choose whichever method of support they preferred and we tried to communicate that throughout the process. It took a little longer than expected to get up and running, but our membership subscription program is now in place! (You may notice the fancy new banner ad about it on the home page, echoed below.)
Part of that delay was thinking up something that didn’t encroach on the benefits we gave our Founders. Those folks helped us get started and deserve the exclusivity of the perks they got. The other part of the delay is that there just aren’t enough hours in the day. (However, for you guys, I’m willing to be cloned.)
We have utilized the popular Buy Me a Coffee platform to run this program. You can find the basics here. The Mane Land premium membership program includes three tiers of membership, as well as the option to click on the “Support” tab for those who just want to help us out whenever, without joining the program or adding any recurring “appointment-based” payments to their budgets. We love that feature of Buy Me a Coffee (or “Buy Us a Beer” in our case…you drink what you like).
For those who do choose to become members, we hope we have provided value and we are planning to add benefits along the way, in addition to providing special giveaways, events, etc. (more on that below). We have also provided subscription options — with monthly or annual memberships. The annual cost essentially gives you 12 months for the price of 10.
Current Benefits
The current membership benefits depend on which level of support you choose — Homegrown Player, TAM Player, or Designated Player level. Each level includes all benefits from the lower tiers, with additional benefits for each higher level.
Homegrown Player: This is a basic set-it-and-forget-it level of support for The Mane Land, providing a way for our readers and podcast listeners to contribute to the success of TML‘s independence goals. We want to compensate our current volunteers, replace lost income of those who previously received small stipends from being part of the SBNation network, add photographers, attract new writers, and expand our coverage. Additionally, each Homegrown Player Level member will be recognized in a Lion Links column, which is still typically our most widely read post of each day and one of the top daily links columns among soccer sites. Homegrown Player Level members will also be included in any future prize drawings we have or events we host and may be subject to future benefits as they are added.
TAM Player: In addition to Homegrown Player benefits, TAM Players will receive a new weekly e-newsletter in their inbox (unless you opt out…some people hate email). These will be informal missives from myself, other TML writers, or a combination, discussing what’s on our mind regarding Orlando City, the Pride, OCB, or soccer in general. Think of it as an extra post from our site that may cover multiple topics. Additionally, you’ll get a 10% discount from our web shop items that we control (presently, that means everything except our listed MLS Shop items). We will definitely have more benefits coming for this level soon and will look for opportunities to include additional benefits as they become available.
Designated Player: This limited availability level of support includes all perks from the Homegrown and TAM levels, but it goes beyond. Your discount at our webshop (for items we control) will be 15% off. Additionally, we’ll send you Zoom links to watch us “make the doughnuts” whenever we record the podcast. This includes when we interview guests. You’ll see how the sausage is made behind the scenes and everything that we say, some of which will end up on the cutting room floor before the final podcast is sent out. This includes both The Mane Land PawedCast and SkoPurp Soccer: An Orlando Pride PawedCast. And after two months of membership you can commission a bonus episode of either podcast simply by letting us know what topic you want us to cover. Think of this as an extended Ask Us Anything. We’ll do a whole show about your topic and you can even join us to discuss it if you wish.
The DP Level will certainly have additional benefits tacked on as we move forward. It is currently limited to 40 members but could be expanded slightly depending on demand and our Zoom attendance.
Future Benefits / Benefits Under Consideration
While we won’t be able to schedule these due to the random nature of items falling into our hands, there will be periodic prize giveaways in drawings that include all of our members, regardless of level. The catch is that you get one entry per level of support, meaning Homegrown Player Level members will get one entry per prize drawing, TAM Player Level members will get two entries per drawing, and Designated Player Level members get three entries for prize drawings. Some of the kinds of items we have come across in the past include match tickets, trinkets, posters, scarves, and so on.
We are planning to add a message board to our website, well…soon-ish is the word that comes to mind. The plan for the message board is to build our community and further the discussion about the club. As part of this, we’re planning an exclusive, members-only area of that message board that TAM and DP members can access. This will be a place our staff can share informational nuggets we can’t necessarily write stories about for various reasons and interact with our members on a daily basis.
Other things in the works include meet-and-greets/watch parties where you can chat with TML staff members and catch a road match with a bunch of like-minded Orlando City/Pride fans while we all cheer on the team together. There may also be other informal outings with one or more members of the staff, organized fantasy leagues, random Zoom calls for Q&A sessions, and perhaps even some organized group outings for Orlando City / Pride matches, national team games, etc.
The Most Important Part of This Post
Remember at the top of this post, when I said the most important part is at the bottom? Well, that seems like a long time ago, now, so it’s OK if you’ve already forgotten.
The most important part of our membership program is you. We want your feedback so we can make this program something that interests and excites you. We want to know what you like and dislike about this program. We want to know if there are some things we didn’t think of that interest you. If you like what we’re offering, tell us! If you hate what we’re offering, we want to know what you’d prefer instead or in addition. If you want to go drinking with Dave, we can probably arrange that, but it’ll be a unique tier and we’ll have to figure out the cost of that.
No idea is too crazy to suggest, even if it’s too insane for us to actually offer. Let us know what you want from your subscription and we’ll see if that’s something we can do. We’ll make it easy for you by putting the form right here below this post, which is now concluded.
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